Surfin Right Into Your Bookmakers Head. NFL Week 10 Picks. Upsets and Guaranteed Winners

First things first, shout to that cuck, Dennis The Ratty Commentator, this week is for you. May the lord have mercy on on your soul.

As many of you could tell, I’ve kept my picks to myself the last couple weeks. I did this mainly so Dennis, that miserable cuck, wouldn’t have access to my great NFL brain. But I no longer can withhold such information, the people need me! We are printing money here at The Ratty for God’s sake! So let’s get into the picks.

Looking to double you money ASAP? Then do this 4 game Parlay. GUARANTEED WIN

New England Moneyline. Chicago Bears Moneyline. Saints Moneyline. Chargers Moneyline. Guaranteed a quick double in money. All very big favorites as well.

Wanna bet on one game? Here our LOCKS OF THE WEEK

Seahawks are covering the 10 point spread. It is way too big for a divisional game. Seahawks play the Rams better than anyone and there are the hottest team in the NFL right now. That’s a LOCK.

Chicago Bears to cover the 6.5 spread. Lets be honest, the Roar will not be restored anytime soon. The Detroit Lions are trash and that Bears defense will do what Minnesota did last week to the Lions. LOCK.

Saints to cover the 5 point spread. The Bengals lol… PRETENDERS! FRAUDS! They want you to think they’re good, but they are NOT. They suck and will suck! There is just no way they can score with the Saints, especially with AJ Green being out this week. LOCK.

My last two are toss ups, but still feel very confident in them! The Patriots to cover the 7 points against the Titans. The Pats are too good, but if there is anyone team that can surprise the shit out of the Patriots, it is definitely an ex-player or coach of Bill Belichick. Mike Verbal…. tough to see it happening but Matt Patricia did it in week 3.

Then the Browns! They might even win outright this week! They are a lot better than people give them credit for. Wanna gamble a underdog moneyline? Take the Browns over the Falcons. Falcons are frauds, they beat the Redskins last week but lets be honest, the Skinnies SUCK. Yuuuuck. Browns are at home and have a new life playing for the new head coach. So throw a lil nickel and see if you can get a tickle.

So there you have it folks, PPs Picks of the Week! Now get out of here. Go on. Get! Go win some money little PPeepoes!

PS- Fuck you Dennis, your wife is a whore. She fucked Dan and Gary at last years Holiday party.

PP Huncho

St. Cloud Man of The Week: Spooky Morning Glory

With Halloween just around the corner many of us start to get into the spirit with picking out our Halloween costumes, putting spooky decorations up around the house and adding candy to our shopping list for when the kids start knocking on the door. Well, this weeks St. Cloud Man of The Week couldn’t wait any longer to trick, and slash or, “treat” one unsuspecting lady by doing none of those things.

Early Friday the 19th morning, just past 6a.m. officials received a call from a female stating there was a unknown male in her bedroom. While some of you females who may have had a crazy Thirsty Thursday in St. Cloud, just like my whore of a ex-wife, might be thinking “Just, like um, tell him to leave, why would she call the police-ah?” Well, it turns out the male was actually uninvited and just showed up around 6a.m. waking her from her slumber, by walking around her bedroom in his birthday suit smelling and touching her unmentionables while aggressively touching himself, sexually.

Startled the lady screamed and called the cops immediately, at this point the man realized he wasn’t alone in Happy Town anymore and fled the scene. When the officials showed up the woman stated she had no knowledge of how the trespasser had entered her section of a “multi-home fortified fortress” but was able to give a very very specific detailed description of the intruder.

The victim described the male as 5 foot 5 to 5 foot 8, beer bellying having 30-40 year old, short hair to shaved head, facial hair around the jaw line, larger lips (although she didn’t include a reference to what normal lips were) and a hairy chest. So officials are literally on the look for every male in St. Cloud within that height range but even after days of rigorous searching the unknown St. Cloud Man is still at large.

Lessons Learned:

1. “St. Cloud Man” is a nut job.

2. It’s always a little spookier this time of year.

3. There is a man who resembles the most average man alive that’s enjoying his morning glory.

Joel Embiid Claims He Learned How To Shoot From Youtube Clips Of White Guys Shooting

In Joel Embiids interview with Rachel Nichols, he sheds light about how he was able to take his 3 point shot to the next level by watching clips of old white guys shooting jump shots. LOL I am surprised Embiid didn’t credit the white guys for his superb bounce passes as well. JK whities!!… I am also white by the way, so I can make fun of the whites. Shout out to the Dusty Whites! You are welcome for that new and improved Jump shot, Joel.